For those who have noticed, I have been MIA for about a week and a half. No excuses other than life got to be a little too much and I didn't have the time, nor the energy, to sit down and write. Virtual learning with the 7 year old ramped up and while it still only takes about 3 hours, it's 3 hours of constant attention and questions on her part and a constant headache for me. We're making it work and I'm trying to enjoy the time but it's difficult ya'll.
I also had a visit from Baby H, my last foster kid, that I wrote about here ---> Saying Goodbye to a Piece of Your Heart (Foster Care). He stayed with us a week while his mom had her baby. While I thoroughly love the kid, I'd forgotten how much time I didn't have when I had four kids in the house. It was exhausting but I wouldn't trade that time with him for anything.
It was also my 3, now 4, year old's birthday. I am horrible at kids parties y'all. I wait until the last possible minute and then throw something together. This year, the pandemic only made my procrastination worse. However, we did spend the day at The Museum of Life and Science in Durham, NC where he could get his dinosaur fix and we spent the day outside looking at all types of cool things. His party will be Saturday, but "party" is a very loose term for what we have going on. Basically, I procrastinated so much that our family is coming over for a couple of hours to see him blow out some candles on a cupcake that I'll make Saturday morning.
Basically, I'm typing all of this to say....My Bad. I'm not nearly conceited enough to think that anyone enjoys or looks forward to what I have to say but I feel like I owe it to myself, and to those who do take the time to read, to actually post consistently. Starting next week, the plan is to consistently post 3 days a week. Look for posts on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
If I really want to get down to it. I think I was overwhelmed again. I felt like I was putting a lot of effort into things and nothing was coming out of it. I've been dealt frustration after frustration for the last couple of weeks and I used the first excuse I had to say screw it. I'm sure we've all been there.
Since I have no problem laying it all out there for you, lets just go ahead and do it....
The ABC Commission is taking FOREVER with my ABC Permit for the bar. I'm not sure if they are usually this slow or if the pandemic has been the problem but they have had my application for over a week and I've heard NOTHING. I can't even get a confirmation that they have received it. It seems that every time I turn around, there is something that is standing in the way of a smooth opening. People are TIRED of waiting and I get it. I'm just hoping my future customers will be patient with me and this convoluted process.
Virtual learning for my daughter really kicked into gear and I almost lost it. The first week fooled us. Either she's over it or the extra work pushed her over her limit. This last couple of weeks have been a nightmare with her. I can't really sit and get my work done because I now have to basically sit there and hold her hand and/or threaten her to get the work done.
I've set a lot of goals for myself and haven't really been able to reach a freaking single one. It has been depressing and I was really hard on myself about it for about a week. I felt like I was trying everything in my power to get what I set out to and nothing was coming together for me. I've figured that I now have to step outside of my comfort zone and hustle a little differently. We'll see if that works.
To sum up, I've been in my feelings for about a week and I just didn't feel like trying to do anything. I used my family obligations as an excuse but it was also a chance to reset myself and start over.
I used the very few quiet times that I had to remember my WHY. I'm not doing this for money, well if I could break even and make a few cents I would be content, but for the sense of community that I feel like it brings to me. I'm not selling makeup to make money, although that would be nice, I'm selling it because it's amazing and I feel like everyone would love it. I'm opening the bar to provide something new and exciting for my community and while it's being difficult to start, I think it will be a rewarding experience in the future.
So yeah, I disappeared but I'm back and I'm determined.